Habit stacking to reclaim your weekend and why mom friends are
From habit stacking and early morning wins to navigating the mental load of motherhood, join us as we find balance and connection in the everyday chaos.
How to Reclaim Your Weekend: Habit Stacking & The Mental Load
This week, we’re coming at you with a dual perspective on logistics, legends, and the high-stakes science of toddler management. It’s a story about how a simple text message turned into a masterclass in habit stacking—and why the "Early Bird" win actually begins with a forced system reboot the night before.
The Spark: From Butterflies to "How Big Is It?"
This adventure actually started a couple of weeks ago on our way back from the Butterfly Conservatory. That trip was such a hit with Alice that Kat and I committed to building fresh family traditions—basically, we’re trying to avoid becoming weekend couch potatoes. Right as we were feeling that momentum, my phone buzzed. It was a text from
Moe: "Hey, can you pick something up for me?"
Now, with Moe, you don't just say "yes." You ask questions. I immediately shot back: "How big is it?" You see, Moe once had me pick up a street lamp. Not a "cute garden light," but a massive, cast-iron, London, England-style street lamp that was heavy enough to have its own gravitational pull. I’m pretty sure my car’s suspension is still traumatized. He promised this new find was manageable, so the "Marketplace Syndicate" was officially back in action. Our deal is simple: if he sees a deal out my way, I grab it; if I see one his way, he does the same. It doubles our reach, even if we are usually hunting for polar opposite things (I want tech; Moe apparently wants to furnish a 19th-century Victorian street corner).
The Pivot: Open Road Therapy
A week had passed after that text, and honestly, being cooped up at work all week makes you long for a drive to clear your head.
That Friday, as Kat and I were planning the weekend, I suggested a radical pivot:
Why don’t we break from our regular dinner at Moe’s and do breakfast instead?
To own that 6:00 AM start, I had to treat my bedtime like a hard production deployment. No late-night scrolling, no "one last email." It was a 10:00 PM hard shutdown.
It turns out, going to bed early isn't "losing" time—it’s just moving your high-performance hours to the morning when the roads are empty and the world hasn't started yelling at you yet.
The Journey: 407 Gambles & Bomb Disposal
The 407 Bargaining Chip: To make our 8:30 AM deadline at Moe's, we had to be strategic. Usually, the 407 is a siren song—I love the speed, but I hate the cost. I’m convinced that if Canada ever tries to join the EU, the 407 is our primary bargaining chip.
"We’ll give you the toll revenue, you give us the wine."But because we were the "early birds, "we caught the" no 407 bonus." The roads were clear, the wallet stayed closed, and we made record time.
The Destination: Angelique’s & The Meat Platter
With the Marketplace find in the trunk, we pulled up to an Ajax legend:
Angelique’s Family Restaurant
This is a real mom-and-pop shop with seasoned grills and a soul—a far cry from the sterile, cookie-cutter chains where the food looks like it was 3D printed.
The staff had crayons and paper ready for Alice before our butts even hit the seats. I knew exactly what I wanted: The Meat Platter. Let me tell you, I was a happy, happy man! It actually comes out on a platter, and it’s glorious.
The crazy thing is that even though this place is a local staple, Moe and Ang had never been there. They absolutely loved it—Ang was in heaven with the food and the vibe. While we sat there, we realized that even though Moe is a world-class cook himself, sometimes it isn't about the food. It’s about being human with other humans. It’s the sound of a room full of people laughing and the simple joy of a shared meal that makes the work week feel a million miles away.
The New Tradition: The Early Bird Win
The morning wrapped up at Moe’s place to drop off the find (mercifully, not a street lamp) and pick up the dogs. Before we left, Moe brought out some candy for Alice. For the past week, that’s all she’s talked about: "Uncle Moe and his candy." By waking up early and
"stacking" our goals—handling a delivery, sharing a meal with friends, visiting Mom’s place
and exercising the dogs—we turned a simple drive into a full day of connection.
I’m really starting to like this "get up early and get out of the house" thing!
The early bird really does catch the worm—and if they're lucky, they skip the 407 toll while doing it.
The Habit Stacker Challenge
This week, we’re challenging you to "Stack the Win."
Pick one chore you usually dread, move it to the early morning, and pair it with something that clears your head—a long drive, a massive breakfast, or a visit with family.
Tell us: What are you stacking this weekend? We’d love to hear how you’re reclaiming your time (and if your Marketplace finds are as heavy as mine).
Until next time,
Damian & Katerina
Check On Your Mom Friends This Mother’s Day Week-end: They Are Not Okay!
Happy Mother’s Day weekend, Vilhelmians!
Let me set the scene: It’s early May. Instagram has fully entered its Mother’s Day Era. I’m scrolling through reels of moms — beautiful, relatable, exhausted moms — explaining, in various stages of calm and chaos, what they actually want this weekend.
The requests ranged. Some were… ambitious.
“A long weekend alone in a luxury hotel. Pre-paid spa services, mani, pedi, champagne. Uber eats. No one touching me. No questions. No schedules.”
Honestly? I cackled. I respect it. But it is so far from who I am.
But then — and this is the one that got me — I came across a mom who said something so simple it actually stopped my scroll.
“I don’t want to be away from my family. I don’t want a spa. I just want a day without the mental load.”
Dear Vilhelmians, I felt that in my bones.
So What Actually Is the Mental Load?
If you just nodded aggressively at that sentence, you probably already know. But for those who need the vocabulary — and for the partners reading over someone’s shoulder right now — let’s talk about it.
The mental load (sometimes called cognitive labour) is the invisible, unrelenting, thankless work of managing a household and family — not just doing the tasks, but tracking, anticipating, planning, and remembering them. It is the mental tab that never closes and no, no app will ever replace it.
It’s knowing the pediatric appointment is in two weeks and pre-emptively rearranging your work calendar. It’s running a background calculation of what’s in the fridge, what needs to be bought, and whether there’s a conflict with the school thing on Thursday. It’s being the only person who knows the dog’s vet is named Dr. Isabelle and that she doesn’t like when you call to reschedule last-minute (she remembers, she definitely remembers).
The term was popularized by French cartoonist Emma in her viral 2017 comic “You Should’ve Asked” — and it spread globally because approximately every primary caregiver on earth read it and quietly wept into their cold coffee.
Research backs this up. Studies consistently show that even in dual-income households, women and primary caregivers disproportionately carry this invisible labour. It doesn’t show up on a to-do list because it is the to-do list — and also the system that generates the to-do list, and the person who notices when the list is getting long.
The result? Chronic low-grade mental exhaustion. The kind where you’ve technically “rested” all weekend but your brain has been running a background process the entire time like a laptop fan that just won’t quit.
The Running List, Explained to Anyone Who Doesn’t Have One
For those uninitiated: the running list is not a list. It is a living organism. It regenerates. It mutates. It follows you into the shower snd beyond.
Did I RSVP to that birthday party? Is the birthday this weekend? Did I get a gift? No. Also — does anyone need a haircut? When did I last check the car’s oil? Did I send that email? Did I send the OTHER email? Wait, what day is it?
It is, to put it formally, A LOT.
And the most exhausting part isn’t any single item on the list. It’s the weight of holding the whole thing — all the time, in the back of your head, even when you’re technically present, technically relaxed, technically “off.”
A day without the mental load isn’t a luxury. For many caregivers, it’s simply a day of feeling like a full human being.
May is Mental Health Month — And This Counts
Speaking of feeling like a full human being: May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’d be remiss not to name it here.
Caregiver burnout is real. The mental load is not just inconvenient — for many people, carrying it without support, without acknowledgment, and without rest is genuinely harmful to mental health. It can look like anxiety, irritability, that particular flavour of exhaustion where sleep doesn’t actually help, and a persistent sense that you are always behind.
If any of this is resonating a little too hard, please know: it’s not a character flaw. It’s a structural problem dressed up as a personal one.
And if you or someone you love needs support, here are some places to start:
Canada:
• Crisis Services Canada — [1-833-456-4566](tel:1-833-456-4566) (24/7) or text 45645
• Kids Help Phone (for younger adults too) — [1-800-668-6868](tel:1-800-668-6868) or text CONNECT to 686868
• Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) — camh.ca
• Wellness Together Canada — wellnesstogether.ca (free mental health support)
International:
• International Association for Suicide Prevention — https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
• Your family doctor is always a good first call.
You don’t have to be in crisis to reach out. Feeling depleted and unseen is enough of a reason.
To all the mothers, the caregivers, the people quietly holding the whole thing together — you are seen. The work you do that no one names is still work. And you deserve more than a single Sunday a year to remember that.
Bonne fête des mères. You’ve more than earned it!
— Kat
P.S. Boujee has opinions about Mother’s Day and they are mostly about whether there will be extra treats involved. She is not wrong. Because it's Dog Mom Day as well!
